My Blog

Anxiety Is Good For You

Mysterious forest

It may seem a strange thing to say that anxiety is good for you, but without some anxiety we would accomplish very little. Remember that anxiety is a stimulus, an urge to change something. A little anxiety may cause you to study for your driving test or go see your doctor once in a while. It is only when anxiety becomes excessive for the situation that it is a problem.

The Evolution of Anxiety

Anxiety is part of our evolutionary development and its purpose, to keep us safe, is the most efficient way possible. Let me illustrate.

One day Mrs. Neanderthal was out gathering wood to build a cooking fire. As she searched through the brush and trees in the nearby forest, her arms grew heavy with small branches and twigs. She reached for one last piece wood in the low brush when all of a sudden something long and thin sprang up and bit her arm. She dropped all of her wood, shrieked, and ran for the safety of her warm cave.

In the firelight of the cave, the tribe’s medicine man looked at the two small punctures on her arm and gently applied herbs and moss to the swelling wound. Mrs. Neanderthal was carefully tucked into a bed of warm animal skins and the tribe began to dance and chant around the fire, hoping to summon the healing powers of the spirit world.

Mrs. Neanderthal became quite ill and suffered much pain but before too long the fevers left and the wound healed. Soon she was able to return to her usual life in the tribe. She even returned to her duties of collecting firewood.

On a sunny spring day, she headed once more into the forest to collect more wood. As she reached for a small branch, the wind came up and the low brush and trees began to sway. A shadow from the trees flashed in the corner of her eye as she reached for a branch on the ground. Suddenly Mrs. Neanderthal threw her bundle of wood to the ground, her heart racing, her breathing caught in her throat. Beads of sweat appeared on her forehead and her hands became wet. Looking around in terror, Mrs. Neanderthal ran from the forest in a blind panic. When she reached her cave, she fell to the ground by the campfire. When she caught her breath, she tried to explain to the tribesmen who had gathered around her what had just happened but her mind was in a fog.

Nothing had attacked her. She had no wounds. She also had no firewood. What she did have was a great feeling of confusion and a dread that they would ask her to collect more firewood. From that day on, Mrs. Neanderthal felt panicked every time she thought about collecting wood or going into the forest. Even to cool off in the forest in the heat of summer was impossible.

To ensure her survival, Mrs. Neanderthal’s primitive brain had associated the moving shadow with the moving snake. In sloppy fashion, it had associated collecting firewood as well as the forest with her fear, pain, and sickness from the snake bite experience.

Our modern brain has developed the ability to analyze and make decisions based on ever changing information, but we are still hard wired for survival. Our brain often recognizes patterns in sloppy fashion. We feel the anxiety that is meant to keep us alive in situations that are not life threatening. In terms of survival, this is a case of better safe than sorry.


In today’s world, some one sitting in a business meeting, who is unexpectedly called upon to speak to the group may find her mouth suddenly dry, her throat constricted, and her chest tight. Despite finding it difficult to breath, she may be able to convey the material needed in the moment but from that time on, any time she is approached by someone she doesn’t know, she again finds herself in panic mode. She learns to avoid all meetings. Soon, she can barely bring herself to go to work. And in worst case scenario, she becomes house-bound with agoraphobia. The fear-based learning (anxiety) is self-reinforcing without treatment.

The good news is that anything which is learned can be un-learned and replaced with healthier ways of acting and re-acting. Anxiety is the 3rd most common psychiatric illness, just behind alcoholism and depression, but it is very treatable.

You don’t have to suffer from anxiety, excessive worry, or symptoms of panic. Call today to start taking back peace and control in your life.

                  Call 801-494-7612 for an appointment

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Anxiety In Modern Times

Anxiety word cloud concept with abstract background

Let’s talk about ANXIETY. It may be said that anxiety is the result of stress and virtually everybody experiences stress to some degree. In the most general sense, stress is, in fact, a normal part of life. Stress, simply put, is the pressure to act. Without some stress, there is no reason to get out of bed in the morning, go to school or get a job, or have a relationship. Stress is a necessity of normal everyday living…unless it becomes too intense, lasts too long, or has no resolution.

Stress Kills

“Stress” has become a modern catch-all. It can make you sick, cause depression or result in depression, bring on a heart attack or ulcer. Stress can even decrease your sex drive, ruin your memory, and damage your relationships. Sounds pretty serious, doesn’t it? When stress has reached the level where it can have these impacts, it is definitely a collection of symptoms we refer to as anxiety.

The Purpose of Anxiety

When we take a closer look at anxiety, it is a straight forward physical process of the body and mind getting ready to act for survival. You probably know the common phrase used to describe such a situation: “Fight or flight”. The muscles tense, breathing becomes more rapid and shallow, the heartbeat quickens. For some, thinking becomes more difficult, memory is impaired, legs or hands may shake, and some even experience nausea. All of these symptoms, and others not mentioned, are in response to the perceived need for defense.

Changes in heart rate and breathing allow more blood and oxygen to be sent to the muscles for rapid action. Analytical thinking is NOT needed if survival depends on swift action, and nausea, which could lead to vomiting is the body’s way of lightening its load and making the person less appealing to a would-be predator. All these symptoms are the result of thousands of years of humans being at the mercy of predators larger than us, equipped with sharp fangs and claws.

An Out-dated Over-reaction

Businessman scared and coward runs off quickly

While anxiety was useful to keep you on your toes in a primitive and dangerous environment, it can cause problems for modern man (and woman). Anxiety is still useful when you find yourself in unknown circumstances but our modern brain tends to over-react when, for example, the boss asks to see you. When your honey says, “We need to talk,” it only FEELS life-threatening.

So the goal isn’t to be rid of all anxiety. After all, a little anxiety can spur you to prepare a really outstanding business presentation, ask your boss for a raise, make the effort to learn a new sport, or ask the one you love to spend eternity with you.

Since we clearly need some anxiety but too much is, simply that, too much, the goal should be learning to tap into the useful amount and limit or prevent the damaging amount (or type).

Next time we’ll talk about the different types of anxiety, or the several different ways excess anxiety can complicate and compromise everyday living. Join me on this journey. If you recognize the symptoms of excess anxiety in your life and you are ready to regain control

      call me now    801-494-7612

Anxiety: Modern Tool of Survival

Hand pointing at a Anxiety word illustration on blue background.

Now that I finally have my computer up and running again, I have been thinking about the things I wanted to share with you in this blog and I decided that I wanted to explore various aspects of anxiety. Anxiety shows up so much in my practice; it’s clear that a great many people struggle with anxiety in some form or another.

New Anxiety Tool

A while back I completed a program to become proficient in another hypnosis tool, which is called the “Rewind Technique”. This is a tool specifically developed for the treatment of trauma and PTSD. It also is useful for treating anxiety, phobia, and some OCD.

Anxiety Is EveryWhere

I have recently worked with clients bothered by PTSD, nail biting, smoking, social anxiety, and several other forms of anxiety-related problems. I had the wonderful experience of using Rewind recently to help a sweet young woman deal with a traumatic sexual assault from her past. At the beginning of our session she could not even mention what it was that she wanted to rewind. However, by the end of the session she was smiling and commenting that she felt calm and could think about the experience without the distress she has felt every day since it happened. The event was fully de-traumatized for her. Pretty impressive for a single session’s work.

New Series on Anxiety

That experience cinched it for me: I’ll spend the next several blogs sharing aspects of anxiety, the disorders it causes, and ways to deal with it. Join me for this enlightening series. If you have symptoms of anxiety that prevent you from enjoying the life you want to lead, call me to set up an appointment. You don’t have to live with the effects of anxiety for the rest of your life.

             Call now 801-494-7612

Welcome New Year 2016

art christmas and 2016 new years eve

My final post of 2014 was about goal setting for the new year. I spoke of wanting to live more intentionally. As I have spent time reviewing my journal and posts of 2015, I see that I accomplished goals that were important to me. I wanted to limit my work week to just four days. Goal accomplished: I now work Monday through Thursday. I wanted to figure out how to increase the number of people I help based on what I can offer them. Goal accomplished: I became trained in hypnotherapy, including the TrimLife Weight Release Program. This year has proven to me the wisdom of setting goals in order to be successful.

I’ve been spending a lot of time preparing the material for the TrimLife Weight Release Program. It is going to be a super experience for my clients who are ready to take on the challenge of releasing excess weight and regaining healthy living. I will be working the program along with my clients. Working on the material for this exciting program has given me the opportunity to do some of my own work ahead of time. Preparing the material about goals for TrimLife, I began looking at what my own overweight has cost me.

The Cost of Unhealthy Living

Earlier in the year I was working on relationships. My current physical condition limits my ability to walk distances, go on even gentle hikes, or share other outdoor experiences with family, friends and acquaintances. One day I was visiting a local pond with my brother and he suggested that we walk around the edge of the pond as we talked. Because of the terrain and my overweight, I suggested that we sit under the shade of tree. Although he never spoke an unkind word to me, I know that he would have been more comfortable if we had been able to talk and walk and frankly I would have enjoyed the changing scenery. Our trip was shorter than it might have been. I missed some real opportunities because of that.

 Thinking about the experiences I have missed out on, the aches and pains caused by the stress of extra weight on my joints, and the damage to my self-confidence from feeling judged (even self-judgement) brought on sadness. I felt some very appropriate grief. After sufficient time to feel my feelings, I decided to look at it from a different direction.

figures 2016 (new year ,Christmas) in bright lightsTime For A Change

I am tired of missing opportunities and I am ready to take personal responsibility for making the changes necessary so that my future will not be nearly so limited. This is the year of taking back my healthy living.

I am working on creating specific goals that will allow me to take charge of my health, including reducing my weight, eating in a healthier manner, and getting the rest my body needs. Even having made the simple decision to set these goals has given me a flush of positive energy. I am looking forward to tonight—New Year’s Eve 2015—when I say “goodbye” to the old year and “hello” to the new year-2016.

I’m ready for some new challenges and new outcomes. Instead of making New Year’s Resolutions that disappear by the 2nd weekend of January, try setting some goals that allow you take charge of your life.

Welcome 2016—The Year of Healthy Living!

Weight Loss Grief

To fat to fit jeans

My blog usually contains information connected to trauma, PTSD, and grief. So this article may seem unusual. I’m going to share with you some information about hypnosis, weight loss, and grief; believe it or not, there is a connection.

In 2014 Americans spent more than 7.3 billion dollars to lose weight ( not including weight loss through surgery). The amount spent is even higher if you add in the cost of bariatric surgery for weight loss.

Many of us have an identity that, on one hand, is of ourselves over-weight, and, on the other hand, doesn’t even see the excess weight. The connection between weight-loss and grief is the part that thinks of itself as over-weight and has lost its sense of self as a person of normal weight. In addition, when we actually do lose weight our identity changes and we face a whole new reality as a slimmer person. At that point, we have lost the sense of self that is over-weight and our awareness of how to act in the world is suddenly gone. That is when we go through some of the very same grief processes as a person who has any other loss. That does not mean we want to regain the weight, but there is some discomfort during that time.

Mature woman celebrating weight loss on a medical weight scale.

Now that I’ve connected weight loss to the usual subjects of this blog, I’m moving on to telling you a bit about a new program I’ll be offering in mid-January for those who wish to lose weight and learn to live a healthier, happier life.


The program I’m offering is called Trim Life Weight Release Program and it involves the use of hypnosis to increase weight loss and make the process of losing weight easier and more permanent.

Many people with excess weight have gone on many different diets, lost weight and then regained it, plus even more weight. They remain challenged by cravings for sugar or high fat foods, or struggle with over-eating or a pattern of binge and purge. This pattern of going on and off diets, finding minimal success followed by defeat as the weight adds up, leaves them depressed, afraid, and feeling hopeless.

TrimLife is a natural process that works permanently to help a person reach their healthy living goals without ever requiring the use of will-power, calorie counting, or restrictive diets. How does it do that? Through the use of HYPNOSIS.

The TRIMLIFE program is a 6-week program of once a week 3 hour meetings in a group format where people are taught hypnotic exercises that:

  • regulate blood sugar
  • shrink the stomach to feel less hungry
  • install a hunger/satisfaction gauge in order to learn to listen to their body
  • increase metabolic rate
  • decrease stress
  • over-come food cravings and addictions, and
  • change beliefs that lead to emotional eating

The program does not require dieting or exercising. The program uses hypnosis and educating people about healthy eating choices along with other lifestyle changes to reduce excess weight and meet the goals they set for a healthier, happier life.

The program is an opportunity to learn the tools that can keep you moving toward your goals. You leave the program with everything you need to keep working toward and to meet those goals, including 6 CDs with all of the hypnosis exercises, a book with all the TrimLife information, and a workbook to guide you through the whole process. In addition, you during the 6 weeks you learn and practice the hypnosis exercises.

Weight loss is a multi-billion dollar business in the US every year. Yet 95% of all diets fail, 89% of exercise equipment (including gym passes) are in disuse after 4 months, and over 98% of the weight lost is regained and/or surpassed after the first year.

This is one type of loss that many of us want. If you have struggled with yo-yo diets, over-eating or food cravings, or the binge/purge cycle, come join a group dedicated to leaving weight issues behind forever. And if you find yourself grieving after losing weight TrimLife can help with that too.

Call me to reserve your spot in the first class of 2016.

                   Call 801-494-7612

Reframe Your Pain

Young businessman making a frame hands

A client recently asked me, “What is reframing and why would I want to do that?” After checking in with her about how it was used, I explained that reframing is the process of trying to look at an issue from a different perspective to see if it looks different so that she might be able to handle it in a different way. For example, she told me that her husband had told her on his way out the door to move their second car into the garage before he came home after work. She said, “He said it like an order.” She was clearly feeling angry that he “gave me a command– like I’m a child.”

As we talked I gathered a bit more information. The morning he had “issued his order” he was late getting to work. He had also agreed that morning to drop their two children off at school on his way to work. And finally the car in question had started making some “weird noises” that he was going to try to diagnose and fix before his wife would need to use it for the school carpool.

I finally felt that I could give her an explanation of reframing in this specific context.  In therapy, reframing is used to take something that is causing fear or dysfunction and give the person a helpful way of understanding it.

Man standing behind wooden picture frame

I asked my client, “Is it possible that in his haste to take the children to school and get to work on time, he simply missed the niceties of conversation he might usually use.” Perhaps he didn’t feel he had the time to explain that he wanted to have the most time possible to fix the car so he could be sure it was safe the next time you needed to drive it. My client thought for a few moments then sheepishly said, “I’ll bet that’s what he was thinking. I just wish he’d have taken the time.”

I understood her preference that there be no reason for the misunderstanding; yet at the same time, I was aware of my own frustration at her resistance to seeing the different perspective. We talked about it until I saw that she understood the concept of reframing and had experienced her own reaction to her husband’s communication enough to feel better about his true intention.

As she left my office, I found myself thinking about the idea that my client had struggled with reframing a fairly harmless mis-communication with her husband whom she clearly loves. It reminded me of a time in my own marriage when I was similarly struggling and sought the counsel of a dear friend who attempted to reframe the situation for me. I remembered with some chagrin resisting her reframe also.

It had seemed such an intellectual exercise to me and had engendered some anger beyond the marital problem I was having. It was from that experience that I had learned that it is sometimes difficult to impossible to reframe an experience until one has released the pain that is associated with the experience.

This is a great illustration why it is so important to start almost any problem solving with validation first. No matter how great the reframe may be and how much easier it makes solving various problems, a person who does not feel heard finds it very difficult, or impossible, to take another view if the pain they feel remains unrecognized or appreciated.

When you find yourself stuck in your view that someone or something is causing you pain, give yourself or the other person permission to feel the feeling present before you move on to looking for other viewpoints and perspectives.

If you  are struggling or feeling stuck in your relationship(s) give me a call. I’d love to help you feel validated and maybe then you can reframe the problem and find a better solution. Give me a call 801-949-7612

Trauma Treatment: Many Forms of Healing

Beautiful Healing Words

In this final piece on trauma treatment I will share some essential aspects of several trauma therapies. While the list of therapies that are used to treat trauma is extensive, I’ll only be covering a few.

In a previous article I explained some about Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR. Brain Spotting grew out of EMDR. It is based on the idea that as a person focuses on elements of their trauma, whether on specific symptoms, beliefs, memories, fears, etc, the eyes naturally find a gaze point and if encouraged to remain focused at that specific spot, the brain will naturally process the trauma. Working with many brain spots may be required to fully process the entire trauma.

Breath Work and Yoga

Breath work and Yoga may be combined to help a client work through trauma. Both breath work and yoga are the means to increase a state of relaxation, which is often absent in those living in the aftermath of trauma.


Hakomi techniques follow the body tensions, feelings, and sensations to find the unconscious beliefs and attitudes that are stored in a fragmented way after trauma.


Hypnotherapy is a highly effective tool that uses a trance state (a deeply relaxed yet highly focused form of attention) to quickly work through trauma.

Somatic Experiencing/Sensorimotor Psychotherapy

Somatic Experiencing and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy are both ways of helping the body to discharge the pain and physical tension left in the body following trauma.

These are but a few of the many forms of therapy used by counselors to help victims of trauma and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). No one form of therapy works all the time for 100% of trauma victims.


You may find it helpful and reassuring to do a little research on whatever form of therapy your counselor chooses. A good trauma counselor will be comfortable with several forms of therapy to treat trauma.

When it comes to choosing a therapist to work with to heal your trauma, more important than the particular form of therapy she uses is a sense of trust and non-judgmental acceptance between the two of you. Whatever form of therapy your counselor uses will be far more effective if you trust and are comfortable working with her.

There are no overnight cures or magic bullets to treat trauma. Trauma work is work, but in the hands of a skilled counselor your trauma can be healed, peace restored or felt for the first time.

Please don’t wait. If you’ve suffered with symptoms of a traumatic experience or repeated trauma, call me for an appointment today. You deserve to enjoy your life.

Make the call and find the peace you deserve.  801-494-7612

EMDR as Trauma Treatment

Depressed Young Man Talking To Counsellor

Traumatic events in your life may cause high anxiety, depression, flash backs or traumatic and intrusive memories, fears, excessive guilt or shame, problems with trusting others, and relationship problems. Sometimes self-help strategies are enough to help you heal from trauma, but some people who experience trauma need professional help to heal the damage. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing or EMDR is a highly effective professional therapy used to treat symptoms of trauma.

EMDR operates from a position of Adaptive Information Processing, meaning that the human organism is inherently oriented toward positive healing outcomes. When the body is injured by a splinter and the splinter is removed, the body knows what to do in order to heal the resultant wound. The brain, in the same way, knows how to heal once the trauma is “removed” by the processes of EMDR.

people, technology and leisure concept - happy african american young woman sitting on sofa with headphones listening to music at home

Sooner or later car accidents, fires, assault, injury or illness, crimes, military experience, all of these and more are apt to come up in your life or the life of someone you know. And for many people any one of these experiences may be traumatizing.

When you work with an EMDR therapist, the two of you agree what the target for therapy will be. EMDR doesn’t require talking endlessly about what traumatized you in the first place. In a calm and relaxing way the therapist will guide you to develop many resources that help to support you during the work. Some guided imagery may be used to develop an imaginary calm, peaceful place, and support figures that you may use to feel nurtured or protected, or who can offer you greater wisdom.

The therapist will offer you some form of bilateral stimulation. Musical sounds that alternate tones from one ear to the other, or vibratory paddles that alternate a buzz from one hand to the other may be used. Some therapists prefer to use a light bar that uses lights in alternating patterns or physically tapping on your knees or the tops of your hands. Although we don’t have a clear understanding of how the bilateral stimulation works in the brain, it appears to effectively help your brain sort out the painful parts of trauma and release it. The effect leaves behind a clearer story of the traumatic event with a beginning, a middle, and an end. What actually happened has not changed but how you feel about it and about yourself has.

EMDR has more than 25 years of research demonstrating how effective it is in the treatment of trauma and PTSD. While there are many other forms of professional therapies for treating trauma, EMDR is at the top of the list. The final chapter in this series on trauma and trauma treatment will cover some of the other many forms of treatment available.

If you are struggling as a result of trauma, call today for an appointment.

You don’t need to suffer alone . Call 801-494-7612.

Professional Trauma Therapy: CBT

Depressed Young Man Talking To Counsellor

We’ve looked at the self-help ways to treat trauma. Now let’s consider the professional forms of trauma treatment.

At the heart of most therapy is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT. Simply understanding the parts of the title for this therapy will give you a fair understanding of what this therapy is like.

Cognitive is the part that has to do with thoughts and patterns of thinking. Behavioral is the part that has to do with behaviors and patterns of interaction. CBT is the root of most talk therapies. With CBT it is most often necessary for you to relate the details of the traumatizing event. With the help of a good counselor you can then challenge the beliefs you developed in reaction to what happen.

Many therapists tell clients that CBT treatment of trauma usually takes somewhere between 20-25 sessions to adequately overcome the effects of trauma. If the trauma is from repetitive childhood experiences, such as physical or sexual abuse, treatment may take longer.

Twenty-five sessions may seem like a long time to be talking about such a painful and disruptive experience, but many people find significant relief after the very first session. Sharing the burden of trauma with a counselor who doesn’t judge you and who is able to help carry the weight of your pain gives you a sense that you are no longer alone on this difficult journey.


CBT can help you untangle many of the false beliefs that came into being at the time of the traumatic event.

  •             It’s my fault.
  •             I deserve this.
  •             This happened because I am bad.
  •             I’m a victim.
  •             I should have been stronger (smarter, better).

These and many other negative self-beliefs are at the heart of the thinking and actions of many people who suffer with trauma. Thoughts and actions can limit you in many ways and rob you of your life’s daily joy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is an effective and proven treatment to challenge and overcome such beliefs. CBT can help you over turn the effects of trauma.

Although CBT is a proven therapy for healing trauma, it’s not for everyone. Fortunately, there are several other professional therapies to heal trauma.

In the next issue we will delve into Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing or EMDR as a trauma therapy. EMDR was developed specifically to heal trauma and requires much less talking about the traumatic event(s) than CBT.

If you’ve been traumatized and your own management skills haven’t been enough to bring you peace, call for an appointment today.

Find the peace you deserve; call 801-494-7612.

Trauma Treatment: Self-help Strategies

The words Hello I Am A Survivor on a nametag sticker to symbolize your perseverance or dedication to surviving a disease or other difficult period in life

This is a continuation of the series on trauma. We’ve covered the symptoms of trauma. Now let’s look at treatment for trauma. In this article I cover self-help strategies for trauma. In another article, I will cover some of the most common professional therapies to deal with trauma.

The first thing I would suggest to anyone recovering from a traumatic experience is to be patient with yourself, your reactions, and the amount of time it takes to heal. Everyone heals in their own time and it can take quite a bit of time to recover from trauma, with or without help. There are many losses that occur second to trauma so you need to take time to process and heal those losses. They may manifest as a loss in your sense of safety, competence, or confidence, etc.

Support on Red Button Enter on Black Computer Keyboard.


Beware of a tendency to isolate. It is normal to spend some time alone thinking through the experience of trauma but isolation is rarely, if ever, helpful and can lead to worsening of problems. Reaching out for support, on the other hand, is helpful. A trusted friend, family member, counselor, or clergyman may be very effective in helping you to feel safe and to talk about the disturbing event. For some people a support group may be helpful.

Take Care of Your Health

Following a daily routine helps to create a sense of continuity and safety. Regular sleep, nutritious meals at regular times, and exercise help maintain the immune system, promote healing, and foster safety.

Seek out activities that make you feel better. If you are unable to think of anything that might make you feel better following a trauma, recall and try out past activities that you enjoyed. And consider activities with others. Reduce stress wherever possible.

For The Support person

If you are a support person for someone who has experienced trauma, it can be difficult to know how to help. However, your support can be crucial in their recovery. Suggestions for you include:

  • Be patient and understanding. Don’t judge or compare their reactions to the trauma.
  • Offer practical support such as grocery shopping, help with housework, and just being available to listen if they are ready to talk.
  • Encourage but don’t push social activities.
  • Don’t personalize their trauma reactions. Since anger and withdrawal are common trauma reactions, try to not assume their behavior has anything to do with you or the relationship.

Trauma leaves its victims feeling very vulnerable and often they don’t see that they need extra support to recover. Don’t hesitate to gently suggest a counselor might be helpful. This could be the best help you can offer if your loved one is drowning in their own pain.

Many people get through their trauma with the support of family and friends, but sometimes professional help is needed to work through the chaotic feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. If your loved one is struggling with the aftermath of a trauma, seek help today. No one should have to feel overwhelmed in the misery that often follows trauma.

Call me today at 801-494-7612.